hey fellas last night i took a medication which is more or less the anxiety equivalent of a horse tranquilizer & essentially enterred the fifth dimension of sleepwalking in which i awoke but enterred a dissociative fit so strong i was really confused why my loving girlfriend was not my good friend and fellow viking bjorn, who i had to bring some furs to. also i might’ve cried about this. don’t remember
was informed i left out the best part of this 3am experience which was the bit where i, in tears, gestured to our dog and shouted, “i don’t know what this is!”
bruh you astral planed so hard you fell back into a past life
“i am a monument to all your sins” is such a fucking raw line for a villain it’s amazing that it came from halo, a modernish video game, and not some classical text or mythos
classic texts have nothing on the crazy people come up with in modern times tbh
“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”
– Joshua Graham, Who Is A Fallout New Vegas NPC, Something Most People Throwing This Quote Around Don’t Realize
“If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight like I always have.”
– Shadow the Hedgehog in what is widely considered one of if not the single worst game in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise
this is the source for this text and it haunts me on a regular basis
“Do you think God stays in heaven because he too, lives in fear of what he’s created?”
I’ve noticed on some tags of this post that you guys wanted the hear the audio, so here it is!
Transcription:
“and I’m the baby Griffin.”
“And I’m Griffin, and I’m a child.”
“I’m Naruto.”
Griffin: [sneezes] “Sorry guys, I think I’m just coming down with a touch of basketball feverrrrr” Justin: “You have to say your name.” Griffin: “Griffin McElroy, I have basketball fever.”
Griffin: “And I’m Griffin McElroy. I am playing Minecraft. Right now.” Justin: “Right this second.” Griffin: “While we record the show.”
“I’m Hank “The Spank Tank” Jankerson“
“I’m your sweet baby Jesus brother, Griffin McElroy.”
“I’m your sweet baby, Griffin.”
“I’m Travis.”
“Uh, I’m Griffin McElroy, and, yeah, I’m just gonna, I don’t have shit to do.”
Griffin: [makes obnoxious dolphin noises] Justin: “why. why” Griffin: [continued dolphin noises] Travis: “why are you doing that” Justin: “how could this…” Griffin: “It’s my- it’s how I commune. It’s how I commune with my dolphin brethren.”
Griffin, in a spooky voice: “And I’m the baby New Year-” Justin: “Welcome, Baby New Year!” Griffin” -ghost, I’m the ghost of Baby New Year.”
“I’m your babiest brother Griffin FUCKING McElroy.”
“And I’m Griffin McElroy, the Emperor of Piss.” [laughter]
“I’m your sweet baby brother Griffin McElroy and look at how sticky my hands are! Gonna put ‘em right in your pockets and get all that sweet change out.”
“I’m your oldest brother, Justin McElroy- no wait”
“I’m Justin McElroy Junior.”
“I’m your sweet-ASS brother Griffin McElroy.”
“And I’m Griffin. Guys, what the fuck even is goin’ on anymore?”
Justin: “And what’s your name, little one?” Griffin: “It’s- I think its Ghoul Rat Fin Mummy Rat.“
Griffin, in a shaky voice: “And I’m Pimbles, the- [laughing] and I’m Pimbles, the bread man.”
admittedly I don’t normally like modern shakespeare adaptations but once I went to see my cousin in a midsummer night’s dream and it opened with a high schooler saying “I don’t wanna read this play” so he sits down and eats an entire chipotle burrito on stage and then immediately falls asleep and the play begins but instead of the forest the faeries all hang out in a rainforest cafe TM and at one point in the middle of a scene the guy from the beginning just slowly drifts across the back of the stage on a skateboard, staring at all the characters as the events of the play transpire in the form of some sort of chipotle-induced coma lucid dream
THAT is EXACTLY what Shakespeare would have wanted
I swear if this isn’t floating around on the internet I’m gonna cry
Oh buddy IT’S ABOUT TO BE. I am like, 98% sure this was my high school’s production and I’ve got photos and video clips like craaaazy…
Here are some fun additions… the Mechanicals were also based on the characters of The Breakfast Club (here I am below, eating an actual Captain Crunch and Pixie Stix sandwich on stage.)
…and the one on the longboard was actually our Puck – he rode it through the whole play in the background. Please note his “Forest Cafe” shirt… which we also had logos for on the cups.
…and we had both a flash mob at the end AND an interlude where myself and one of the other Fairies danced to “Sexy and I Know It” while we were cleaning up the tables at the cafe.
I will post more of this later. I have a DVD at my house and will endure cringing at myself to bring you some quality clips… there’s probably one of K eating the burrito before the start of the play, too.
Here ya go kids… all 2h20m. if you make it through the whole thing once, that’s probably more times than any of the cast watched this DVD. You can probably see why. Tbh if you watch this, I am sorry in advance.
Important notes:
– Chipotle burrito makes a cameo about 30 min in,
– the end has a flash mob and a “commercial” for the Forest Cafe,
– unfortunately, the lunch scene where all the mechanicals whistle like the Breakfast Club got mostly cut for some reason?
–
@vampireapologist in case you have any interest in reliving this… at the very least you can prove to any doubters that there was, in fact, a Chipotle burrito onstage.
I cannot even fully conceptualize, much less put into words, how wild this chain of events has been.
I have dozens of posts going around that have broken 50,000 notes, and plenty that have broken 100,000.
On every single one of these posts, there are hundreds, if not thousands, of comments and tags calling me a liar and the story fake, but none so much as this post.
ProbablyPartyPoison 