Aries: Reads a tumblr astrology post and takes it seriously without realizing it’s actually an elaborate Homestuck joke.
Taurus: Learned all their astrology from Homestuck astrology posts and doesn’t realize it.
Gemini: Learned all their astrology directly from the Homestuck webcomic.
Cancer: Learned all their astrology from Sailor Moon before they ever heard of Homestuck.
Leo: “Why isn’t this Leo post specifically about me, though? It’s getting me completely wrong. Maybe the other signs’ posts are about me instead. I think my other planets are probably exhibiting a little more strongly than the author thinks and maybe bounced into all the other signs today. Oh goddammit this is actually about Nepeta.”
Virgo: Can’t get over how bad the formatting on the post is and hasn’t noticed it’s a Homestuck post yet.
Libra: Lie about astrology? On a tumblr post? Who would DO that?
Scorpio: Gets nothing wrong, because Homestuck is extremely accurate about Scorpios.
aries: you need to relax and accept the fact that you won’t always be the best at everything. people will like you even if you mess up. also, life is not one giant competition – you don’t have to push every down to get to the top because that only leaves you alone in the end.
taurus: understand that losing a fight is okay. there is nothing wrong with wanting to get your opinion out there, but if you’re constantly shutting people down for the sake of winning then you’re going to end up hurting people. change the way you speak to others and people will learn to appreciate you more.
gemini: you will never be able to deal with your pain if you continue to mask it with sarcastic remarks and jokes. to feel pain is to be human, so allow yourself to express these emotions every now and then.
cancer: you’re not crazy for feeling all the emotions that you have, but shutting people out and refusing to speak about how you truly feel only causes you to lose people. people can’t read your mind and understand your true desires if you refuse to tell them, so you need to speak up.
leo: you have a way with words, but you tend to use it for deception rather than good. people would like you more if you stopped hiding behind an imagine all the time. also, your pride is a beast. you need to learn to tame it.
virgo: stop being so negative. putting yourself and others down does nothing to change the circumstances of the world you live in. if you continue to think badly about everything then people will eventually get tired of dealing with you. try to focus on the good things in life.
libra: you need to consider that not everyone understands that you’re flirty by nature. i understand you just want everyone to like you, but you need to become cautious of how others perceive you. you end up hurting a lot of people when they realize that this is just how you are and that you don’t actually feel anything for them.
scorpio: stop refreshing your exes social media accounts every two seconds and learn to let go of the past – it’s the past for a reason. you really need to understand that it is okay to let go because you only hurt yourself when you continue to carry the pain around with you. so, learn to forgive others (and yourself) and move on. oh and hurting others won’t ease your pain.
sagittarius: life gets dull sometimes, but bringing chaos down upon yourself to ease this boredom is never a good idea. also, randomly cutting people off because you’re bored makes a lot of people end up hating you. learn to appreciate the people around you more and stop pushing them away for the next best thing.
capricorn: you’re afraid of being alone but you continue to shut people out. i know you’re scared of what might happen if people get to close to you, but you need to understand that pushing people away and building up incredibly high walls causes nothing but harm and loneliness. it’s okay to let people in.
aquarius: just like capricorn, you tend to cut ties before you can get hurt. but you need to understand that not everyone has bad intentions. let people in and experience the happiness that they can provide you. you deserve good things.
pisces: there is a difference between being in love and simple infatuation – you will save yourself from the pain once you realize this. and it’s okay to be selfish every now and then – you don’t have to put everyone else first.
i was dismayed to find not everyone washes their hair first in the shower so reblog this and put your orientation, star sign, and what you wash first in the shower
are you a rice or pasta person? a graphic tee or flannel person? art or writing person? ocean or meadow person? posters on your wall or tapestries person? tag your sign too !
ProbablyPartyPoison 